We all know that Xerxes won at Thermopylae, right? Huge army, tiny Greek force. But in losing so admirably, the Greeks were able to freak the Persians out enough that they--the Persians--were essentially 0-2 for the next two battles, and we have Western civilization as we know it. Are you asking right now if I've gone to see 300? I have, and if you want to see the future of video games, go see it yourself. Or, if you want to see how to make what is supposed to be epic, but can be pretty much entirely shot in your garage, rush right out. Here's another option: get together with your friends afterward and discuss why certain historical inaccuracies were highlighted. Start with the role of women. Move to slavery and how the phrase "free Greeks" can glide right over the "slave Greeks." Why no ritual grooming on the part of the Spartans? Why do soldiers seem not to understand that they wouldn't have plates/cups/amphorae if it weren't for the potters? Why not mention that the Thespians did hold the "goat path" against the Persians? And why, oh why, were the Athenians singled out for homosexual behavior--and then mocked for it? For extra credit, why the reverb on the voice of that great queen, Xerxes? After a couple of beers, you could talk about the cognitive dissonance of anthemic metal guitar chords during action sequences and the goofy dialogue that takes itself so seriously (the serious dialogue that's done goofily actually worked well).
Oh, but you will ask, was it eye-candy? Oh, yes, it was eye-candy. And a great date movie. It's sort of like the chick flick with the bikini waxing scene (I'm exaggerating to make a point, so relax). Here, we have (CGI-enhanced) buff guys in what look like hard rubber jock straps. Very easy to look at, until they start getting stabbed and shit.
Still, a damn better comix movie than Fantastic Four. Which, without me knowing it, made enough money to inspire a sequel. God help us.
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